“I’ve not written anything in my blog in a good few days, so I really had better do something”, I thought. I’ve been thinking that for a few days, but I’ve just not been able to actually motivate myself to do anything about it. (Actually, I didn’t think that exactly… it was something a lot shorter, but to get my SEO score up, I modified the first sentence).
I did tell you I suffer from depression, right? That’s one of the things it does to you. Getting motivated becomes vastly more difficult. Here. Take a look at this entry about depression on the NHS website. See the Psychological Symptoms section? That’s a checklist as far as I’m concerned. The only one I’ve not experienced in the last month or so is the last one. Fortunately I’ve never had the urge to cut myself or kill myself.
Well. Not in the last few years, anyway.
Now then… where was I?
Oh yeah, I remember…
This morning, when I finally got out of bed, I resolved to do something about it (see? I didn’t just “decide”… I “RESOLVED”!). What did I do? First things first, I did what every right-minded… or in my case, shouldn’t that be “left-minded”? … blog writer does when their brain hits a stumbling block. I Googled for article ideas.
As I read the lists, I started to realise why there’s so much shite on the internet. Especially in blog form. The top results in the search always seemed to give the same advice.
That’s the problem, y’see? You look at the top results (which includes stuff like the picture I’ve embedded in this paragraph), that sparks an idea and then you run with it… in the same direction pretty much every other bugger in the blogosphere has done before. So that’s why a lot of bloggers write the same sort of stuff as everyone else, and when they get disheartened by lack of response, precisely because they’re not offering anything new, they give up.
Not entirely their fault, but possibly a sign they’re doing it for the wrong reasons and they were never really that wedded to it in the first place.
Fair enough, at least they gave it a try.
Then you get to the likes of me. Blogging is therapeutic, especially to someone like me who’s not really good… OK, I’m actually totally crap at… talking about anything personal to anyone. Which is why counselling was really never going to work for me. I just ended up feeling even more uncomfortable and reluctant to talk, which is surely exactly the opposite of how it’s supposed to work.
I’m not hugely bothered if no-one reads this, despite my crack about SEO scores at the top of the blog entry. I’m not trying to fill a niche, neither am I crusading for something or looking for sponsorship (anymore). This is pretty much the tech equivalent of the old paper diaries. It’s just a way to get my thoughts out of my head and onto somewhere they can’t do any more damage than they’ve already done.
And would you look at that.
Over 500 words of blog from a blogger who couldn’t come up with an idea!
How’s that for service, eh? Even got myself a #clickbait title!
Another thing I’ve just noticed is that this is probably the first ever blog entry I’ve written that doesn’t mention sex, porn or getting naked.